Monday, December 13, 2010
Simply misunderstood...
All my life, people I allow to come into my space have either loved me or hated me. I'm used to being misunderstood. It took me all the way until I reached adulthood to figure out why that is though. When you know you are a good person, and people constantly misread you and walk in and out of your life, it makes you question who you really are vs. how people actually perceive you. It makes you wonder is it them? Or am I really that unlikeable? It wasn't until I got to love and understand myself fully that I found the answer to that question. If a person doesn't care enough to tell me about myself, they never cared at all. So it's not me. I know I'm not perfect--no one is. But the definition of a friend never changes. Either they are a friend, or they aren't. One thing I have learned over the years: Some people make your life better by walking into it; and others make it better by leaving. It's up to me to know the difference.
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How about I fully understand. I started questioning my surroundings a couple of years ago on my 25th birthday. With folks who claim to have been my friends I could only hope that they where around me for the fact that I am a loyal, humble, & honest friend in which I thought I was. I at one point in time I thought about others feelings, and helped deal & support them with their issues but later realized they could give a rats ass about mines. I've come to love myself. I know now I seem distant to a lot of folks, but the distance is because I m putting myself 1st. I m loving me, my child and no one else. If people can see that and accept it, then that is great. But Indeed Miya we all reach our breaking point, or point of focus where it only makes us better & things become crystal clear. It's a blessing in disguise.
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting Tia. I am coming to terms with the fact that although I am a genuine, caring, and loyal person not everyone will be the same toward me. I am learning to see people for who they are instead of who I want them to be. Hopefully one day i will be able to have like-minded company, so that i will not have to experience the pain and rejection that comes from so called 'friends' having ulterior motives.
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