Why does it seem like more people look down on open relationships than cheating. I believe I can say this because of my personal experiences.
Now I do understand that certain religions and religious beliefs do not allow for or condone extramarital relationships. But let's take out the factor of religion for just a minute. Is it safe to say that people will cheat before they will openly discuss being with other people with their partner? I would say so. My husband and I did a non-intrusive survey and asked people would they ever be in an open relationship. 8 out of 10 said no. I'm going to guess that at least half of those people have cheated in a prior or current relationship. People are quicker to break up because of infidelity, but sometimes that is the only issue they have. Just like you cannot help what sex you're attracted to, you cannot help how many of them you're attracted to whether it be physically, mentally, or intellectually. Now of course that doesn't excuse ANY type of behavior.
All I'm saying is if more people were open to the idea of being in an open relationship a lot of relationships could be salvaged. I think there would also be less problems that are caused by one cheating:
pregnancy, STD's, drama, jealousy, insecurity, lack of trust, lack of communication, rage, etc. These are just a few issues that come from cheating. I think it's time that we stop ignoring these issues and start trying to come up with an alternative or 'solution' to this epidemic called CHEATING!!!
I totally agree with wat you are saying but what happens when you both agree on the Open Relationship but in the end one of you feel that they click of feel a certain way after a while about the other person and that's not even the case.... How would you handle that then?
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to make sure I understand your question. Are you saying that one of the partners feel like the other is close to one of the other people and that's not really true?
ReplyDeleteUsually people cheat becausse of curiousity or lack of attention from their spouse. Let's say they give each other a Green light to do this open relationship, I put money that it will only be for physical purposes. Usually most don't want to start over dating try to get to know someone all over again, it's just tiredsome. You might as well just say, I m gonna go smash her or him because I enjoy them, but you know your my Boo. I just say do you until your ready to commit instead of getting into relationship to ask for a open relationship.
ReplyDeleteyes maam when u are in a Open Relationship and its something that the both of you agree on but in the end on person can't handle the situation how would u handle that do u continue with the Open Relationship or do u stop it on the account of how the other person is feeling
ReplyDeleteMs. Tee: Some people know they want to commit to another person in every aspect BUT only want to be physical with other people. Why aren't those people allowed to be in a committed relationship just like monogamous ones are?
ReplyDeleteTattar: When in an open relationship EVERYTHING has to be agreed upon and mutual. So if one person has a rule you both have a rule. If one person wants to stop both parties have to stop UNLESS otherwise said. I have heard of some allowing the other person to continue BUT everything is still discussed and communicated meaning there is still open communication. One may just no longer be interested but want their partner to be happy. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteI think open relationships can work as long as the people involved are emotionally mature and confident in their relationship. Open relationships should be a viable option for people who have the urge to 'cheat'. I'm in an open marriage. I know that there is no one person I'd rather spend the rest of my life with than my wife. She knows this. I'm confident she feels the same. With that said, sometimes you connect or want to connect with another person sexually. I think it's natural and shouldn't be suppressed.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I talked about it and agreed on some guidelines. I don't want to know who, where or when, if she even ever finds someone she wants to have sex with. I'm not threatened. No other man is me.
The fact is no one person can fulfill another person's every need. It's too much to even ask of a single individual. The physical variety of different men and women isn't something your partner can morph into.
In most cases it's just sex...and if you're safe and respectful to all parties involved I don't see the big deal.
Maybe I'm the exception, but I've never cheated and not too sure how I would feel about an open relationship. To me it's the same as having an "understanding" with someone..but at some point, just seems like someone is bound to catch feelings. And if that's the case, why be in a relationship in the first place if you want to smush other people?
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Mark. And I think it is interesting to note that my husband and I are in an open marriage as well, but totally opposite than that of you and your wife. We do most things together, and try to find couples who are like us to decrease the chances of jealousy and emotions running wild. Sometimes we do things separately, but even then we know who the other person is. Maybe one day we can do that, I'd have to see if he's willing, lol.
ReplyDeleteCourtney-the purpose of being open is to still share a commitment with someone--that's the number one question people have who don't understand the lifestyle but just remember committment should never be denied to anyone. if you can find someone who has mutual feelings all around, even about being open, why not be in a relationship?